I want to apologize for not keeping everyone informed about the huge event we had two weeks ago. That’s right. We finally had our homestudy! And in truth it was just like I expected, not really a big deal. There was an insane (months long) build up, during which we were rescheduled twice, for a completely laid back 40 minute visit.
I felt completely crazy for much of the preparation time. But my ridiculously high stress level brought me to a place where the Lord could teach me much that I needed to know. I am doing a Bible study on the book of James and have spent many weeks studying faith. The week before my homestudy, I learned something that helped me understand my faith struggles a bit better.
You see, I have complete faith in Christ. I am not someone who needs all the answers, who struggles with God’s goodness or His power. I am a lot more simple than that. I also have a firm belief in His sovereignty; I know that He has a plan for our lives, a good plan I can trust in. Yet so often my actions show that my heart is full of worry and stress and fear. This disconnect is what I did not understand.
But then I learned that W. E. Vine (a Bible scholar) says that faith has three elements:
- A firm persuasion
- A personal surrender
- A conduct inspired by such surrender
Apparently true faith, true belief, includes all three of these elements. I have the first two elements but not the third. For the Lord to fully develop in me a conduct inspired by faith is going to take time, but now at least I understand what I am missing. I know what to pray for, and that brings me a lot of peace.