Two weeks ago Jeremy made a very difficult choice. Despite having an extreme aversion to all things medical (like IVs, scalpels, blood, open wounds, and especially medical TV dramas), he willingly went under the knife. To be perfectly honest, he was scared. But he courageously faced his fear. Jeremy had a vasectomy.
We have known for so many years that we are to grow our family through adoption, and we believe we are to adopt more than once. Continuing to grow our family biologically will limit the amount of children we can adopt, children who desperately need a family. Another deciding factor was that during my last pregnancy I had preeclampsia, which could return in a later pregnancy. So after much prayer and deliberation, Jeremy (with my support) decided to have a vasectomy.
Jeremy’s thoughts on this event: “I was definitely not excited about joining the V Club, but it was something we had talked about, prayed about, sought council, researched urologists, and waited for. Lots of waiting. I actually went in for my pre-op on my birthday…that’s a great way to celebrate the day of your birth! Then five days later Amanda and I woke early to drive to the medical building. In a small way (not saying it was anything like childbirth) I could relate to Amanda. This time I was the one flat on my back on the operating table, while she was the calm one holding my hand. The doc did use local anesthesia, but yes I was awake the whole time. Amanda was helping by coaching me to breath & not hyperventilate, letting me squeeze her hands really tightly. She talked to me about happier times to keep my mind busy, and I listened to Lecrae’s book “Unashamed” on audio with an earbud in one ear. Thankfully I never passed out, but my arms did go numb and I was so tense. It seemed like forever, but I knew that this was something our family was called to do – adopt, and I was willing to say YES in a big way!”
We didn’t come to this decision lightly. We prayed about and discussed this topic on and off for years. And then Jeremy made the hard choice. I am grateful to have a husband who seeks God’s will for himself and our family. Jeremy’s vasectomy is one way our family is saying, “We are all in for adoption!”
Jeremy and I spoke with our boys before the procedure, to help them understand. Our middle son began to cry. He said, “Mom, I want to see how many babies can come out of your tummy.”
When I reminded him how difficult my last pregnancy was and how we are called to adopt, he cried: “But, Mom! Adoption takes so long!”
And he is right. Our adoption has taken so long, even on a good day it feels too long. My kid’s problem isn’t that he wants biological siblings; his problem is with the timing. Both of my sons want their younger sibling to come home.
I tried to comfort my son by saying, “We really hope our baby will come soon.”
Our oldest son cut in–“You’ve been saying that forever.”
I wanted to cry. I do say that all that time: “We really hope our baby will come soon! We are praying our baby will be home soon.”
And I do believe it. I believe our baby will come home soon. Truthfully, I have believed that for years. I am tired of saying it, tired of waiting. But I have to trust God’s plan, have to trust that my Lord knows better than I do. But in the meantime, we will continue to cry out as a family: “Please, Lord, soon.”