I dreamed that I got to meet my child’s birthmother. Now before you starting wondering if this dream is prophetic, let me warn you that it was not at all realistic. The most unrealistic aspect was that the birthmother wanted to meet me for the first time at Winn-Dixie. I know that sounds so weird; I don’t even shop at Winn-Dixie in real life! But like most dreams, it seemed totally normal at the time. In the dream I got the sense that the birthmother wanted to see me for the first time in a normal place, doing normal things.
Another unrealistic aspect was that I came alone without Jeremy or the kids. I went alone to meet the birthmother of my child, but she brought along her mother and her roommate. All four of us had shopping carts, and we just shopped together and talked! I remember deciding that I would shop regularly, just like I normally would.
The birthmother’s mom mostly left us alone; I don’t remember much about her. But the birthmother and her roommate were both extremely sweet and kind. The main thing that I remember about them was how in need of compassion they were. I didn’t realize it at first. In the dream the girls were just sharing with me about their life, and I started to get the sense that they expected me to be judgmental or uncaring. When I responded to them with compassion, they were remarkably surprised and overwhelmed. I could see them melt a little. I couldn’t help but wonder at how in need of love and gentleness they were. Later on in the dream, I heard them whispering to each other about the things I had said. My heart broke a little. I wanted to hold them in my arms as if they were my children. Then I woke up.
I can’t stop thinking about my dream, and not because I so desperately want to meet our child’s birthmother right away, which I do! I just keep remembering the look on her face, how I felt when I realized that her need to be loved was so great.
I am so extremely blessed. I have two loving parents and a faithful, loving husband. I have never experienced horrible betrayal or abuse from those whom I am supposed to trust. Most importantly, I have a relationship with the One true God, who knows all about me and still loves me, who gave His life to save me. This kind of love is beyond my understanding, but that love is also a reality in my life. I have experienced the most extreme love, compassion, and gentleness.
I have no information about our child’s birthmother; I don’t know what her life is like, if she feels afraid or unloved. But I do know that there are so many people in the world who do. And so I keeping praying for the lost, for the hurting, for those who do not know love, gentleness, and compassion. I am praying hard for our child’s birthmother too. I pray that the Lord will place people around her to show her His lovingkindness, and I pray that Jeremy and I will be able to pour His love into her soon. I pray that the Church will be empowered by the Holy Spirit to take His glorious light into the darkness all around us. Amen. May it be!